Letting go

Two is not harder than one

Context is everything. When I was pregnant with my second child only eight and a half weeks ago, many people we know (and some we don't) who have two or more children, particularly those who've had their second child in the last couple of years, would say to us how much harder it was going to be for us to have two children rather than one. One person I barely know actually said to me, "you're in for a whole new world of hurt." Seriously? Even if that is true, how is that remotely helpful? Well, 2 months in to the "madness", I disagree. Two is not harder than one.

With the context of knowing what one was like, and having just had one child for the last two and a half years, well, sure, that seems easier - now. It was not easy eight and a half weeks ago. Or for the two and a half years before that. It was really hard, exhausting in fact. I loved most of it, but it was work - a lot of work - all the time. So, sure, now that I have two, some days (today being one of them) I want to bang my head against a wall, or even a soft pillow, and I look back at my very recent days of having one, and think of them as somehow easier, less complicated. But they weren't. And, in some ways, they were harder. What I mean is, "Two is not harder than one WAS," even though, "Two seems harder than one IS."

This jibberish makes me think of that phrase that some of my religiously inclined friends and family like: "God only gives you what you can handle." While I don't believe that entirely, in part because I'm not sure what I believe about God, and even if I do believe in a higher power, he/she/it has definitely missed the mark on giving some people I know what they can handle...or maybe it's the walking in someone else's shoes phrase...never mind. Neither of these are fitting here.

My point is, one was hard and glorious, two is difficult and wonderful. However many you have or don't have, I think you (in the spirit of the World Cup) Just Do It. Great - I meant to be profound and I quoted Nike.


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