So H and B survived H's first day of preschool. They encouraged B to stay in the room (along with parents and caregivers of the other new kids in the class) and I think it may have had the opposite of the intended effect. H knew B was there and obviously wanted to play with his BFF, so B wound up staying in there the whole time, engaging, not engaging, explaining, and trying to get H to engage with the rest of the class.
There was also a sock incident. In this facility, it's no shoes allowed (super plush carpet in the gym and nice padded wood flooring in the classroom), which I love, but it is also a no sock facility (which I don't) to prevent kids from slipping. During the early part of class when B was in the room but on the side, one of the teachers attempted to take H's socks off and it was the straw that broke H for the remainder of the session. And it nearly killed B to watch the sadness that ensued, as short lived as it may have been. My poor boys. They were both definitely exhausted by the end of the two hours, perhaps B more so than H. Other parents had been able to leave, while some were in and out (potentially even more confusing for the children), but it was a mixed bag of a day. Lucky for them both, B took them to a diner for grilled cheeses to recover before nap time.
When H and I talked about it later, he said "I go to school today. My daddy stay in there." He knew that was not the goal, but seemed to be perfectly okay with it.
Having the benefit of B's experience behind me, when I took H on Thursday, in addition to all the talk in the morning about how it was going to go and how mommy was going to wait outside in case he needed me, I decided that if they would let me, we would do the rip-the-Bandaid-off version of separation instead. And lucky for me, this was actually the plan for day 2. All the caregivers that were in the room at the start of class were asked to leave about 10 minutes in. H had started playing at a table with me about 3 feet away and reached out to me as if his feet (in facility-approved/suggested slippers) were glued to the floor but he needed to touch me. Minutes later he was between my legs. I alternated between telling him the plan and giving him encouragement to play with comforting him by just sitting there with him.
At 10 minutes, someone came over, I said my brief goodbyes and they peeled him out of my arms crying. There were a good four or five kids doing the same. We went out in the waiting area and, well, we waited. A few minutes later, another mom came out (she had arrived late) and said no one was crying anymore. About 5 or 6 times during the two hours, either a mom who had gone in to check or one of the teachers would come out and give an update and by all accounts, H was engaged, playing, even "doing perfect" by one mom's account. I got the thumbs up later from another teacher during a transition. I was relieved and proud (which felt weird to be, but I was).
The bonus to the day was meeting a new potential mommy friend, whose son was also having some anxiety, as was she. She's expecting her second as well and we even share an OB. Did I mention she works in early childhood so we got to talk about all of our strong opinions about what these programs should and should not look like and she told me of another quite reputable program from which she and another mother there had pulled their kids a few weeks earlier.
At the end of the two hours, we went in to the little pick-up/transition area and the kids came out to see us. H was happy to see me, but I wouldn't say he was over the top about it. He told me how he went on the bars (in the gym) and then after about 30 seconds, got down and went over to play with some trucks. I spoke with two of the teachers (they initiated - how nice) who told me some specifics of the day's activities and how well H did in terms of being engaged with the class the whole time - even more engaged than he had been during the semester where the parents were there the whole time. Rock on, H!
I actually had to coax him into getting ready to leave, and as we were putting coats on, he suggested that "Mommy go out there" as he pointed out the window, and I think he intended to stay. I left feeling good about the program, good about H being ready for it, excited to meet a potential friend, and thinking that maybe I could get things done during those two hours every week - even if that meant successfully eating a pain au chocolat and hot chocolate while reading...hmmm.
We "tour" (with H) the one preschool we have applied to for the fall, on Monday. Stay tuned.
