I have always enjoyed hanging upside down. I never got rid of the feeling that you have as a baby/kid where everything looks and feels better when you look at it and feel it from upside down.
This could explain why I had such a great day today. Today was the upside down version of the last sixteen months. I got up, showered, put on fancy (a low high heel was involved) clothes and went to work. B and H walked me to the bus stop. I got on the bus and they went for what would normally be the walk that I take with H in the morning. I then commuted to the office. By myself.
I went to a place I've worked before - twice actually, to do a new job, with new people. It was kind of a perfect day. There were a lot of warm welcomes from people I call friend, a familiar environment, systems, passwords (even my outgoing voicemail message was still saved), but it was for a new job, with new things to absorb and learn. One of the reasons I've gone back to this particular place more than once is because it truly is the best place I've ever worked. The people there are those good people who care about what they do and care about the person in the next cube over, and remember what their first day was like when they were new and make sure new (or sort of new) people feel welcomed. This was true 10 years ago when I first worked there in a different city with different people and six years ago when I started at another office...you get my drift. I've worked enough places with enough people to know this doesn't happen everywhere. And, as a bonus, I actually believe in the work they do and the work I do for them. It's kind of Kumbaya in this way. There are frustrations and issues and days I've wanted (and am sure I will want to again) to pull my hair out while working there, but on balance, it's a great place to spend your day.
Where was H today? Here's the other half of the upside down part. B was home with him, and out with him, and to the doctor with him (thank you, double ear infection), and to baby yoga, the grocery store, the dry cleaner, and home for a 3 hour and 45 minute nap (he knows not to expect this every day). And they both had some obvious fun. B was nervous, in the "I want to do this well and get in a good rhythm" kind of way. I was nervous, in the "I hope B doesn't want to quit his new job after the first day because I'm pretty sure I'm going to love my new job" kind of way.
When I got home and we talked about our days out loud to each other and started to do the end of day activities, the upside down continued. I talked about some of the exciting things I learned. He asked me the same question more than once and said, "did I already ask you that?" I had extra energy to deal with H's pre-dinner whine, and to bath him, and change him, and clean up his toys. I even did the garbage/recycling. B talked about how he realized how easy it was to not finish a task like putting the dry cleaning away or calling the cable company and how difficult it was to get work done during the marathon nap because he was sure that H was going to wake up at any moment. B has never given me a hard time for not getting things done as a stay at home mom - he has always been the ultimate supporter and most progressive husband I know - but it was still refreshing and oh so validating to hear my words come out of his mouth.
B was tired. I was tired too, but I had taken an illicit drug called adrenaline many times during the day. They don't let stay at home parents take that drug after the first six weeks of your child's life. We went out to easy dinner and B almost half-jokingly apologized for not having made a dinner (I do this almost daily without the joking part) for us. After H went to bed, B settled in with his computer to catch up on work for a few hours, a nightly ritual usually reserved for me "catching up" on the outside world, maybe a bill or two, and decompressing from a long day with a toddler. I read a magazine! I had the energy to read a magazine! When H woke up and needed settling, I went in with him for a change and sat and rocked with him on the chair for a while, and I wasn't frustrated as I might would have been if I'd spent the whole day with him. It was actually really nice, and after he settled, we just sat for a while, just as B would typically do with him.
I must have asked B three times tonight if he was sure he wanted to do this, stay with H two days a week while I go off to work in the big city. I knew I was projecting and protecting but I was scared he would change his mind. Even if he does, I know there are other options. But I really like this option best. He said he wanted to do it, that he had fun and this was day one.
The only not-upside down thing about today is that I said I was tired and going to bed three hours ago and yet here I sit typing away way past my bedtime while he is asleep, magazine still open in hands (a la Weekend at Bernie's), all the lights on around him. I am a lucky girl. H is a lucky boy. Seriously.
Please don't confuse upside down with inside out. It's not the same thing.

