We took HD to the doctor this afternoon because he has just not been right for the last week. He hasn't been sick or had a fever, but he's been extra whiny and not sleeping well. And, when he doesn't sleep well, we don't sleep well. It's been a rare co-sleeping week around here and while both BH and I enjoy a good cuddle with HD and love to watch him sleep when we get the chance, we're not big fans of being kicked in the face or having to lay in one position all night to keep him penned in, which causes all sorts of parts of our bodies to fall asleep...except, of course, the parts that should be sleeping. BH does better with this arrangement than I do, but I am not hyperbolizing when I say that BH can sleep standing up, while laying down is just the beginning of my sleeping needs.
We'd convinced ourselves that it was teething...we're pretty sure the molars are headed to town, as are his eye teeth. Fun times. But when no amount of medication seemed to keep him comfortable in his favorite spot of late in between mom and dad, we decided to take him today. And, he has an ear infection. I'm bummed. It's his third in three months, but the doctor actually thinks his infection from November never completely left, so we're calling it a resistant ear, rather than multiple infections, which is some kind of music to my ears. So, of course I'm bummed because he's been in pain and not getting the medicine he needs, but I'm more bummed because I didn't listen to my instinct.
My gut told me a week ago that it was an ear infection. But, he wasn't so unhappy most of the time, and he had some good nights of sleep when he was in with us, and some good naps. But my instinct wouldn't let it go. It made me ask BH what he thought several times throughout the week (he didn't think it was an ear infection). It made me call my sister, a mother of three more than once (she didn't think it was an ear infection). It made me question myself in the middle of the night, and, more than once, to tell myself to call the doctor in the morning. But I didn't call. It wasn't until last night, when none of us were getting any sleep, that we decided to call this morning. And, even then, BH called.
I know it's only an ear infection. I know HD will be okay really soon and that the meds are on their way to fixing what ails him as I write this. The guilt will slowly dissipate, or at least, mix together with all the other mom guilt I have about enumerable other things. But, it is a good reminder. Listen to your instinct (also known as your inner voice, intuition, gut, etc.). Listen to it early. And act on it. I clearly haven't been watching enough Oprah lately.
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