I pride myself on being direct with people. This pride is reinforced when I take personality tests in which I "discover" my work style so that I can work effectively with people who operate like me and people who don't. People tell me I'm direct and that they come to me for direct feedback. I think I pride myself so much on being direct because I equate it with being honest, trustworthy, and loyal, attributes that I want all of my friends and family to have. But every once in a while I catch myself doing something that is questionable.
Today, I was walking along the sidewalk toward Starbucks, pushing my sleeping baby in his stroller, and talking on my new hands-free Bluetooth, purchased so I can walk/drive and talk if and when the mood strikes me or a "need" to be on the phone arises at a moment's notice. Two young men stood a couple of yards away from the Starbucks on the sidewalk, asking passersby if they had a moment to talk about the environment. I'm not sure if they were looking for donations or petitions to be signed, but when one of them asked me if I had a moment, I motioned to him that I was on the phone. I finished my call as I entered Starbucks and took the Bluetooth out of my ear. After I got my beverage I thought for a moment and decided to put my Bluetooth back in and this time pretended to be on the phone as I exited so they wouldn't stop me in the opposite direction. As I did it, I thought it was weak, dishonest, and kind of silly. I have told people on the street many times before that I don't have time to stop or have just continued on my way. Why did I choose the Bluetooth option instead? Did I just not want to be bothered? Did I feel guilty for not stopping because I was in fact not really in a rush to get where I was going? Did this make me a liar? And why do this in a situation with little or no consequence? Did I think these people would be more or less offended, hurt, or angry at me if I didn't stop and I wasn't on the phone? I must admit I did get a bit of pleasure out of the whole experience, which I think is even more bizarre than the act of "faking it" in the first place. I wonder if I'll do it again next time.
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